reputayswift:

Proof that Jess Mariano is a Gigantic Nerd:

• Has a book in his back pocket at all times
• Tried wooing his crush with basic magic tricks. Multiple times.
• Also tried wooing his crush by stealing her book and writing notes in the margins
• Was employee of the month at Walmart
• Risked injuring himself to go on a romantic carriage ride with his crush
• Described the times he had class with his crush’s bf as “brief non-pugilistic time”
• Spent $90 to get a picnic date with his crush
• Wooed said crush on said date with literature banter
• ”You know, Ernest only has lovely things to say about you.”
• Put together and personally delivered an entire care package of diner food when he heard his crush was gonna be home alone
• Got visibly angry and defensive when someone implied he’d never read Jane Austen
• Got so overwhelmed when he finally got the girl that he had to “regroup” before he could stand close to her
• Stared lovingly at a book for like 4 minutes straight then called his gf a “cruel woman” and a “book tease” for not letting him read it right away
• Deescalated a fight by saying, “It’s getting a little West Side Story here and I gotta warn ya, my dancing skills are not up to snuff.”
• Tried fighting a swan with a soup ladle
• ”Yahoo-ed” the exact distance between him and his gf’s future college
• Brought a book to read at a strip club
• Was given a romance self-help book by his uncle and actually took advice from it
• Chucked rocks at his ex gf’s window like he was in some cheesy romance film
• Is still pining over his high school gf. Even now. In his thirties.